I look for you on the walls, seeking evidence of last nights nighttime escapades. Hoping to find a handprint to place my hand on, so I can feel a part of you still near me. When you are away I question your existence, after so many lost bad loves, it’s only natural that the most involuntary choice other than loving you I have, is to question if you exist.

It’s the distance between our old goodbye and new hello where I miss you the most. Barely, closing the car door, my heart tugs at my mind to turn around and take it back home. At the corners of your smile my arteries perform at optimum function. Drowning in your air, I breathe you.

I long for your embrace at the mention of your name, I hear you in love songs. You make me ill. Constantly needing a dose of you to cure my short term memory, I can’t remember much between the last and next moment we are together. I’m knee deep in your love, hands and feet bathing in your love. Praying the scent of your affections never wash off.

It’s in the silent spaces between fights, the hours while you’re at work, the minutes after I’ve woken up and watch you sleep and the seconds after you let go where I anticipate the next time you will hold me and tell me I’m still your one and only. Even while writing this I miss you because the other things I do have no meaning when you are not in my presence.

 

Jade Novelist & Poetic Vixen ©️ 2017

Sexting,
because that’s about as close as we get these days.
I guess things change
But I still hate sleeping alone,
Yet have to settle for goodnight kisses on the phone.

I crave you
It’s more than a lack of connection
But rather a need for your kind of healing.

Jade Novelist ©️ 2018
14 Days of Valentine – Day 13
To read more poems from the 14 Days Of Love series, you can visit my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Page and follow #LoveIn14Days.
Day 13 Releases & Links:
Black Lace Temptation (Facebook) | Sexting (Instagram & WordPress) | Role Play(Twitter)

Addressing the elephant in the room is never easy

An elephant never forgets

But somehow I forgot me

Wasted potential invested in repetitive negative mental constraints

Hiding behind people’s expectations and justifying reasons formed by voices

With a big heart comes big ears

So my heart hears loud when they say I will never make it

I can’t be loved with all the wrinkles and scars

In a world of different I fit in with the not so good enough

And my world is not black or white, I live in the gray

You can sing but no one would buy your album

You’re good looking but could never be a supermodel

And your qualification is but a decoration

Who cares where you are going when its easier to shackle you to the past

Falling into traps and allowing poachers to graze at my surface

Bullets aimed at my ego,

Chipping away at my esteem

Big exterior, empty shell

Look how the elephant fell

Anti-poaching laws exist in the bible, carrying messages of hope but even then there were near human sacrifices

So maybe my dreams are the price I pay

But an elephant never forgets

and somehow I forget me yet I struggle to forget who I said I’d be

My dreams form wounds that won’t heal and itch at my subconscious

I’m a tortured soul and don’t know how long I have left to live

So I will live like each day is my last

With nothing mattering more than the fact that I chased a dream I could never forget

 

Jade Novelist ©️ 2017
To read more poems from the #Animalistic, you can visit and download the anthology:
Animalistic Download