Language is made of rules, we learn metaphors, similes and synonyms growing up. We know the rules but somewhere along the line we forget them and learn to misunderstand one another. We get fixated on what we hear instead of trying to understand the real message being relayed.

Like, what if I want to die meant I no longer want to live like this and a suicide note was just a goodbye letter to the pain. Maybe, just maybe, I hope you know you deserve to be happy was my way of saying I’m sorry we’ll never get to experience all the beautiful things we could have done.

I hope you know every “I love you” has a different meaning; i need you to know how much I love you — so you never have to wonder if your love was enough; when I say I love how you… and go on to mention the things you did that made me smile — I want you to know that those are moments that used to make the hurt bearable and the last one is to tell you I know you did everything you could for me.

In the end, even though it’s selfish to ask anything of you, in my I hope you’ll forgive me someday, I need you to understand that you meant a lot to me and when I ask you to not miss me too much, I’m actually begging the universe on your behalf to give you something different, so you don’t have to love another person who loves the way damaged people do.