Lost Soul

I search for you in places where love shouldn’t be,
sometimes in spaces where I know I shouldn’t go.

I’ve searched in hearts that held on to hurt and had no room for love to grow,
and on some nights in hearts I knew would lay next to another, when I was done distracting them.

I’ve looked for you in eyes that saw through me,
that fixated on me just long enough for the perfection to fade away.

I wanted you from strangers,
and even though everyone is unfamiliar at first meet,
these were strangers to my love language.
I convinced myself they would love me with time,
they would care in a way I’d understand
and maybe, just maybe, someone would want what I have to offer.

I needed commitment in multiple ways,
but most times it ended at memorising my name.
Some committed to their desires,
learning how to touch me just enough to make me need them again.

I searched for you where love couldn’t be,
I searched where I hoped loneliness wouldn’t follow me
and I searched for you in spite of being broken,
but I have grown tired of searching,

I want you,
only you

Jade Novelist ©️  2019