I’m Not Healing Quick Enough

We said goodbye, a decade agoand five months prior we were forced to say hello under unfortunate circumstances

You left before I knew who I wanted to be

and because of the things you did to her,

I never thought putting you under would hurt like this

but I suppose a father will always have an impact on his kids

Every hurt that I thought I had gotten past resurfaced

Cold and grey, in the coffin you lay

the first time, in a long time 

we came face to face
We still have a connection

Chest pains when you cross my mind,

dreams of what could have been had you never walked out

and a new side of the family I never knew existed

but truth is, none of them are you

I thought the pain would only last the duration of that weekend

but I suppose that’s why burials are for the living

So we can carry on mourning long after you’re gone

Seconds turning into minutes into hours becoming days

but I’m still stuck in a moment

So while everyone moves on, I’m struggling to let go

I guess since you were never around, I’m still your little girl

You never taught me how to dealing with a man leaving my life

So I’m not healing quick enough

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